I’ve never liked blue eyes- some as dark as the coldest depths of the ocean, others the lightest of hues, bright and icy like a winter morning. I’ve always been a sucker for a sweet shade of brown- caramel and mocha and every color in between. Maybe it’s the way they remind me of pure earth, the kind that blooming flowers thrive on- maybe it’s the warmth behind them, the way it seems as if the sun itself must be lurking behind that dark stare- or maybe it’s the way I won’t see a reflection of my own pale blue irises in theirs- a reflection only lacking the storm brewing beneath, every pair a cutting reminder of the pain I alone hold in mine. The image of what my eyes, unguarded and unburdened, might have been.
I️’ve never liked blue eyes, that is, until the moment I looked into your bright baby blues- your laughing eyes, always crinkled at the corners, eyes that shone with happiness- eyes that flickered with something dark, almost undetectable, something I knew all too well. That electric gaze, capable of disarming me with a single glance, stripping away every defense in a single breath- revealing wounds no person had ever been able to see before- wounds we somehow shared. I had never imagined such an icy stare could hold so much heat, though soon enough, i found myself replacing thoughts of cold watery depths with those of summer skies, beautiful and serene, though your eyes always held hints of storm clouds in the distance. It was ironic, the way that your clouds seemed to chase away my own. So ironic, the fact that while one storm could ravage me, another would be my saving grace- at least for a while.
I loved your blue eyes, and God, I would have given anything to see yours just one more time. I felt so numb the day you left. Hollow. Empty. Everything- my heart, my thoughts, my emotions, even the demons inside my head- gone. For once, not even a hint of them lingered, almost as if you had taken every single piece of me with you- whether you meant to or not. A few days later the numbness began to fade, and to my utter despair, I realized you had not taken everything as I had first thought- for my demons had awoken with a vengeance, screeching inside my head, escaping through hot tears and wrenching sobs. A hurricane swirled amid a turbulent sky, the same sky that once rippled with sunny rays- and I knew I was a goner.
I’ve never liked blue eyes- some as dark as the coldest depths of the ocean, others the lightest of hues, bright and icy like a winter morning- and I never will (except yours).